Out of My League

Ok. By now, I have either changed A LOT because of her, or I've just wasted about five months of my life. For now, I've just become insane. The definition of insanity in the words of Albert Einstein: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

It's official, I'm insane.

But let's try to analyze these feelings psychologically. I feel like she is perfect; smart, athletic, funny, pretty. What more to a perfect person is there? (No seriously, if I left something out, please comment and I'll fix it.) But then I feel like she is WAY out of my league. Then I think about why I'm still chasing her. I mean, most guys would never talk to her again after what she's done, but I'm not most guys. She's given me a second chance before, so it's only right that I give her one to. Then there's the part of me that thinks, "Am I still chasing her because I still like her the why I liked her in summer, or is it because I told her that I'm more stubborn than her and want to prove it?" I think about this question a lot and always come up with the same answer; I don't know. And on top of all this confusion, I'm still confused about how she feels about me: does she think I'm being really sweet? Does she think I'm stalking her and she's had WAY too much of me and never wants to talk to me again? Or is it just that she wants to be friends, nothing else? Sometimes I think that it would be too simple that way. I feel like it can't happen, but I've been wrong before. This is what goes through my mind EVERY SINGLE DAY and I wish I could find an answer before I lose her forever or do something stupid.

ilyaaw,

-Jason